Summer 2007
VARIATIONS ON THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY
(after Harry Mathews)
I think I love you, so what am I so afraid of?
Negation:
You feel you hate me, since when are you so brave?
Emphasis:
What I mean, though I am not totally sure, is that I ponder and reason
and muse about these very strong feelings I have for you--feelings that
are both tender and sexual. These ponderings lead me to ask
myself what it is exactly that scares me so, if these feelings are
indeed true.
Anagram:
O, how, if ink is mauve foil, a hot itsy, a road...
W+7:
I think I love-in-a-mist youngling, so what am I so African sleeping
sickness of?
Curtailing:
I think, so I am afraid.
Curtailing (different):
I love fear.
Lipogram in a:
I think I love you, so what’s of me? I, soft rid.
Lipogram in i:
Thanks love, you’re so what?
Rad? Foam sofa?
Lipogram in o:
I think live wham-fits say us afraid.
Contradiction:
I know I hate you, so what am I so fearless of?
Triple contradiction:
You know you love me, so what?
Snowball:
I
am
not
into
going
around
town in a
stupid bus
with every-
one staring.
I mean, for God
sakes, a yellow
bus? A school bus?
with birds on the
sides? No way, Keith.
Minimal variations:
I stink, I shove you...
I blink, I hover about you....
I sink, I dovetail you....
Subtle insight:
David Cassidy’s father always wanted to become famous, then pushed his
son into showbiz. When David Cassidy’s career skyrocketed,
his father grew bitter and jealous.
Pig Latin:
Iway inkthay Iway ovelay youway, osay atwhay ammay iway osay
away-aidfray ofway?
Reductive:
Love? Yikes!
Permutation:
So what am I so afraid of? That I think I love you?
Interference:
a.) I wish I could have a baby.
I just want security, you know.
Anyway, it’s not like I’ve had a lot of other offers.
All my friends are married
already.
I think I love
you...
b:) ...so what am I
so afraid of?
the dark? the bees?
the alcoholism that runs in your family?
VD? where we’ll get enough money?
that you beat up your last girlfriend?
that you never even look for a job?
why don’t you ever let me finish a sentence?
Synonymous:
I adore you. I’m just a big scaredy cat.
Another interference:
This is crazy! Am I doing the right thing?
Second subtle insight:
David Cassidy wanted out of the Partridge Family for years. He
wanted to be taken seriously as a singer and cultivate adult fans.
Homoconsonantism:
At Hank’s lives wheat miso, of Roy Deaf?
Homovocalism:
Is silt, is “okey” out? Form a cast roar pair on...?
Homophony:
I eat above you, so what’s an eyesore, a free dove?
Second snowball:
I
am/
you
are a
puppy
when it
comes to
such love
stuff, such
things as, oh
you know, lust
and condoms or
commitment--and
what if I’m preggo?
What then, bastard?
Declarative mode:
I am frightened of being happy. That’s it.
Denise
Duhamel's most recent book
Two and Two (University of
Pittsburgh Press, 2005) is the winner of Binghamton
University's Milt Kessler Book
Award. Other titles include Mille et un sentiments (Firewheel Editions, 2005)
and Queen for a Day: Selected and New Poems (University of Pittsburgh
Press, 2001). She is an associate professor of English at Florida
International University in Miami.
I wrote "Variations on the
Partridge Family," after
reading a poem by
Harry Mathews in which he uses Oulipo techniques to break down
Shakespeare.
I was so taken by his poem that I applied the same techniques to "I think
I love you, but what am I so afraid of?" which, for me, has a slight
"to be or not to be..." ring to it when spoken aloud. My fist LP was The Partridge
Family. I played it everyday
in sixth grade until it
became totally uncool. I was afraid some kid at school would come to our
house and see it, so I threw it out. I feel like I betrayed my
kitsch-pop self. I so wish I'd saved it!